25 October 2003 A Trip To The Attic I've decided to start cross-stitching again. I love doing it but I've been so busy for the past few years it all got put aside. Now the problem is all my cross-stitch stuff was in my mum's attic. Where Dave had put it last week. I mean it cluttered up her spare room for years and one week after it gets shifted to the attic I decide I want to start doing it again. I'm an awkward sod I am. Problem is this meant I had to go into the attic since I was Daveless today. Even bigger problem is I get vertigo in platform soles. I don't care if the ladder could bear the weight of a pregnant elephant - I just know that it's going to collapse underneath me. Or that I'll go crashing through the ceiling. So there I am, on the ladder, holding on for dear life and shaking like a leaf. The dramatic effect was spoiled somewhat by my brother telling me I was only on the second rung.... Of course, once I get up there he shouts up at me to wait a moment since he's got some more stuff that needs to be put up out of the road. Sure Bro! No problem! I just love dangling out of a trap door, reaching down to grab a heavy box. That splintering sound? Oh that's just my toes digging into the boards up here, nothing to worry about really.... Then I have to sit for ten minutes to try and talk myself into being able to get back down again. I know I should just throw my legs over and on to the ladder but my damned brain starts screaming again and won't let the rest of my body do what it needs to. So I lie flat on the floor and somehow slide myself along the side of the hatch and get one foot down on to the ladder while the other foot is still in the attic. I thank the Lord I'm wearing stretch jeans. Next problem is how to get my tits down as well. I'm gripping the top of the ladder for dear life and my rather ample bosom is firmly wedged on the top rung. To move, I'm going to have to lean back a bit but that's not easy when you're almost too terrified to move. Step by step I go down the ladder and I have to get the Bro to reassure me I'm standing on the ground before I'll let go of the damned thing. I didn't get down and kiss the ground Pope style but I was so damned relieved I came pretty close.
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