12 September 2006
Up until now I've managed to avoid the Sudoku craze. The fact that Carol bloody Vorderman was grinning at me from the television set, telling me how easy and fun it was gave me every reason not to bother.
For a start it involves number and Edna don't do mathematics. I failed my O level maths miserably, scraping an E grade and was happy in the knowledge that because I was 16 nobody could ever force me to do an equation ever again.
Mind you I like to try everything once so I did make a stab at the Sudoku in The Times once, made a horlicks of it and decided to be happy never to bother again.
Then Dave said the other day that he'd gotten into them.
Damn him, damn him to hell.
He was sitting scribbling away and I wanted to have fun too. I wanted to see what the bloody attraction was and, to be fair, there's some things I've picked up from Dave that I've really enjoyed. Did you know I can do those little slide puzzles now? Those things bugged me since I was a kid because I could never do them but Dave tought me the solution in about an hour. Some of these days I'm going to get him to teach me how to do the Rubik's Cube and then I'll just shrivel up in an ecstasy of geekdom.
But back to Sudoku. Dave was buying his bumper book of fiendish Sudoku for smart-arse know-it-alls while I decided to go for the 'Junior Holiday Funtime Companion'. Start slowly and build up is my motto and if eight year olds can do these then even I'm bound to manage it.
Except I couldn't. I flipping well messed it up. There's the two of us in the living room a few hours ago, scribbling away at our Sudoku books - Dave's announced he's just finished another one while I'm busy chewing my pencil. And he's [i]smirking[/i] at me over the top of his book.
Me: Stop it, I can see you desperately trying not to smirk, this isn't funny.
Dave: I'm not trying to stop myself, I am smirking. Look, there's one good thing about the book you're doing. At least if you get stuck on the puzzles you can colour in the Janet and John pictures......
But I finally did it. I finally fucking completed one and it's done correctly because I made Dave check it. Fair enough it might have been one of the puzzles that had a little smiley face beside it to denote that it's Sudoku for a five-year-old but it's good enough for me. I'm quitting while I'm ahead.