2000-10-15 Car Bomb I can't verify the authenticity of the story I'm about to relate here - I could be spreading a local legend, but sometimes something is so funny you just wish it could be true. A brand spanking-new HMV store opened in my hometown this week. I know that won't really impress those of you reading in England, but since I live in the wilderness of Ulster, it was quite something. Hell, when McDonalds opened here, it made front page news in the local paper. Now, since HMV consider this an important venture, they brought all kinds of top-level personnel in for the opening week, including big-wigs from the mainland and one English guy who it seems currently works in their Dublin store. So, of course he is driving a car with a Republic of Ireland registration in Northern Ireland (there is an obvious difference). All went well until this guy decided to go straight to the bar after work and left his car parked in the multi-story car park of the mall where the shop is. He told the security guard it would be there overnight, but when the shift changed, word wasn't passed on. Picture it. Security guard, doing his nightly rounds, spots car with Republic of Ireland numberplates sitting on the roof of a mult-million pound shopping centre. Usually this means car bomb.... A quick phone call is made to the local cops who rush to the scene with army explosive experts (deep down, nobody really believes this cease-fire crap). They carry out a 'controlled explosion' on the car. Don't ask me why, I've lived here all my life and still can't figure out what the hell a 'controlled explosion' is. Of course, nothing happens except Mr. HMV returns the next morning only to find his swanky car is now a pile of scrap metal. I guess it's things like that which make the Northern Ireland Tourist Board and the Department of Trade and Industry wonder why they bother. And to give you some idea of the psyche of the man in the street over here, we all think it's bloody hilarious and have been pissing ourselves laughing about it. Of course the one good thing is it might just deter Richard Branson......
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