05 August 2002 Hey! They look like currants! Our house is being invaded. It's like something from a B movie with a daft name like 'Attack Of The Locusts' or something. Honestly, the place is crawling with flies. It's crawling almost as much as my skin is. Dammit, I knew we shouldn't have gotten a house so damned close to a cowshed. I mean, we're getting nice weather for a change - today was a real scorcher. I'm on dayshifts at the minute so when I came home I suggested we open all the doors and windows up and let a bit of air through the house. I'm a big fan of fresh air and out here we've got it in spades. We live half a mile exactly from the road, and that's even a very small road. More of a 'z' road than a 'b' road really. Now Dave warned me about what was going to happen, but I thought it wouldn't be too bad. Boy was I ever wrong. Within minutes we were swamped with flies - a lot of the little buggers, so it was out with the tin of super-giant Vapona flykiller. Now there's shitloads of dead flies lying over everything. Ick, ick, ick. Still, I thought that was the end of it - until I went upstairs a short time ago. There were hundreds of the little buggers. Cue more screeches of 'Daaaaaave, bring the flyyyyspray nooooow!'. Dammit, I love living in the country. I love the peace and quiet - I love the fact I can go out and vacuum the car in the nude if I want to. Please note that I do not endorse nude car cleaning - your various appendages tend to get in the way. However, the drawback to living away out here is the amount of insects and I'm beginning to remember why my childhood home was always adorned with honeypot flykillers during the summer months (mum hates flyspray). I really don't understand where the hell all the flies come from (although the cow shed next door might provide a slight clue). I mean, given the amount of cobwebs we have to keep sweeping from the ceilings you'd think the spi.....spi.....dammit - those eight-legged things I really don't like could finish them all off. Ha! I'll bet ya we've got the only vegeterian arachnids in the country.
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