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A Handful Of Crap

Would anyone believe me if I said that earlier today I was down on my knees with my arm up to the elbow in, um, effluent?

Well our drains got blocked and then the pipe our landlord was using to unblock it snapped and we were all standing there and I thought since it was our drainpipe.....well, you can guess the rest.

Afterwards, I turned to Dave and said: "Bet your cool London women wouldn't have the guts to do anything like that?"

"Dunno," he replied, "I got offside while you were doing it. It was really something I didn't want to have to see."

I couldn't help but think of an old friend of mine while I was doing it. Danny worked on and off as a barman and said he was able to stomach anything.

He said he had to because of the amount of times he was called into lavatories to sort out the various messes the customers managed to make.

It seems that bars don't keep any equipment to unblock those overflowing toilets we sometimes encounter, just a barman with a strong stomach and very long arms. I kid you not.

And do you want to know the most awful thing? He always said that the worst messes were created in the ladies.

I guess that's why there's always a queue a mile long when you go to the bathroom in a nightclub then. There's some gaggle of girls hogging the stalls trying to come up with the most unimaginable things to do to the toilet bowl.

Uck. Uck. Uck.



Stale Fresh

You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing