Dirty Deeds and Politics I'm afraid I'll have to besmirch this diary with politics. There's no getting away from it. You see, not only is June 7 the date of the general elections in Britain, it's also the date for our local council elections. That's where we elect local fuckwits to sit on our council, so they can claim huge expenses for doing fuck all because local councils in Northern Ireland had all their powers stripped off them back in the 70s. Mind you they still have the authority to empty bins and look after the cemetaries. Whoopee fucking do. Did I mention I used to be a journalist? Um, ok. Well half my time I had to make up the wonderful quotes we got from the members of Ballymena Borough Council because the revered gentlemen were too thick to come up with anything themselves. I kid ye not - this was (and is) accepted practice. Now this leaves me with a dilemma because I'm a fervent voter. All women should use their votes because it wasn't that long ago a lot of women suffered and died so we could have the right to do it. Not to vote is an insult to everything they fought for. Now, voting in the general election is easy. I vote for Ian Paisley. I don't have any option in the matter since it's the only chance I have every few years to remind the British Government that I hold a British passport and would like to continue doing so in the future, thank you very much. (I know I'm gonna get hate mail for that one). But how can I vote in the council elections? They're all equally useless slow-witted, bible-bashing idiots. Does anyone have any idea who runs the Monster Raving Loony Party now Screaming Lord Sutch has passed on to the Great Assembly in the sky? We need a candidate here ASAP.
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