Dog Days We've got a heatwave in Northern Ireland at the moment - great....lots of sunburn and far too much exposed flesh. Now I'm not going to moan about the heat. Dammit after the snow, frost and torrential rain it's bloody marvellous to see a bit of sun. But I do think it is managing to turn everybody into short-tempered shitheads - I should know, I seem to have been getting the brunt of it this weekend. Now I'm used to getting crap from members of the public but what I've had to put up with for the last couple of days would leave any sane person thinking about how taking up a hobby as a serial killer might not be such a bad idea after all. Example 1: Edna drives along a row of houses (none of which have numbers), pulls up at wrong house...waits a couple of minutes, realises mistake and goes to right house. Ignorant bastard comes out of house, gets into taxi and says: "Why did you go to the wrong house - are you stupid?" Edna replies: "If people bothered to put house numbers up I wouldn't have to use my psychic powers to guess where you live." That was me being polite. I really wanted to say: "No, I have a Mensa measure IQ of 158, more qualifications than you can shake a stick at, whereas you are an ugly, middle-aged, blue collar worker with a slutty looking wife and you're already pissed at three in the afternoon." But what really wound me up was being accused of overcharging. We don't have meters, we have set fares and if people don't like it they can lump it. Meter fares would be more expensive for the stingy bastards anyway. I lift four people from a �90,000 house, there are BMWs sitting in the driveway, they are going to spend the night drinking in a four star hotel and what do they do? Give me shit because they think the fare should be ONE FUCKING POUND cheaper! I look at the bloke with incredulity as his snotty bitch of a wife walks off with her mate still yapping about the price of the fare. Yeah love, I work for a fucking living instead of prostituting myself as a trophy wife to a policeman who earns 27 pounds an hour. Now here's a statement for google to turn up. Ballymena people are the most tight-fisted bunch of ignorant bastards that ever walked the earth. Little wonder I count the days until I get the hell out of this country for good.
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