07 June 2002 Bye bye American Tan *Note to readers. Tights is Britspeak for pantyhose. Little boy turns to his daddy and asks: "Dad, is 'knickers' a curse?" Dad replies: "No son, but those damned tights are." Uh, yeah...... Anyway, American Tan tights/pantyhose. Dear God, what were the manufacturers thinking? We're British for Christ's sake. We're all horribly pale and pasty - sticking on a pair of dayglow orange tights will not suddenly make us look as if we've spent the last month in California. White face, white arms, orange legs. Yep, American Tan tights were even worse than cheap artificial tan and oh boy were they ever popular, especially in the early 80s. Funny that - women don't seem to wear tights so much nowadays. I only don a pair of fine black ones if I'm going to a posh do. Yes, I know stockings are sexier, but if I'm going out for the evening I'm gonna get pissed and stockings are a real bugger when you're drunk. ~Remembers standing in a tiny toilet cubicle trying to reattach a stocking onto a suspender belt after it had popped off~ Hmmm. Tights always had funny names for colours. I mean you just needed pale or light brown. I remember 'Mushroom' and 'Melon' as well as American Tan. Oh, that's another thing about American Tan tights - they were always at least 30 denier. Well, that's one fashion I'm sure glad isn't making a comeback. I could live with flares and even blue eyeshadow again......but American Tan tights. Yeurgh.
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