03 July 2002 Anyone For Tennis? AKA Let's Talk Balls We're a nation of sheep when you get right down to it - us Brits I mean. Despite all our claims to independent thought, it's incredible to see how easy it is to control the thought process of the great unwashed. What the hell am I ranting about now? Bloody Wimbledon, that's what. I mean tennis isn't exactly a popular sport. I played it at school but most UK schools don't have room for tennis courts, so why the hell is everyone so obsessed with Wimbledon? Would it be because terrestial television has been broadcasting it continually for the past couple of weeks and suddenly everyone thinks: "Oh, if it's getting that much coverage I'd better watch it." Probably - either that or it's just a relief from daytime repeats of 'Quincy' and 'Diagnosis Murder'. Let's face it, the majority of people who have been hooked on Wimbledon for the past couple of weeks have probably never even held a ping-pong paddle, let alone a tennis racquet. These are the sort of people who worship Anna Kournikova because she's blonde - conveniently ignoring the fact she couldn't hit a cow on the backside with a baking board, let alone a tennis ball. It's the herd mentality. All their friends are ranting on about tennis so they have to do the same or feel left out. I'm happy to feel left out - I rarely even watch soap operas. It gives me a great feeling of superiority. Don't even start me about Royal Ascot. Pages and pages of guff about Ascot every year, with everyone glued to their telly screens. I've been to horse-racing events - they're muddy, cold and damned exciting. People who watch horse-racing don't wear posh hats. However, I'm digressing again. No, if you're ever in doubt about the power of propaganda and just how easy it is to influence the masses, take a peek at the ratings figures for stuff like Wimbledon. Right, I need to go now. It's world championship snooker on telly next, followed by three hours of darts - wouldn't want to miss it, would I?
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