10 November 2002 A Letter To Ronald McDonald Dear Ronald McDonald I'm not a hard customer to please. I'm a pretty good customer since I work in a job dealing with the public so I rarely rant about bad service, but I've got my limits. Why is it impossible to use the drive-thru at my local McDonald's without them fucking up my order? It's not as if they're very big orders either. If I was feeding a family of five I'd understand if your staff got confused, but how the fuck can you mess up an order for coffee and a doughnut? I'd also like to point out that just because Dave orders plain hamburgers (no shit please), we are not mutants from planet X and you don't have to send out distress flares every time you see us approaching. I've even stopped asking for bugers without those damned gherkins since I was reliably informed by a staff member that: "When someone asks for that we just open the burger and lift the gherkin out, then stick the burger back in the box." Yes I know working at McDonald's is a shitty job with low pay, but I'm not exactly the chairman of ICI myself and I still manage to give my customers a decent level of service. Speaking of my job, I remember when I worked for the company which had the contract to taxi your staff home from work at night. God help me if I was five minutes late for my pick-up because your staff clearly expect a level of customer service they can't provide themselves and can be ignorant bastards when they don't get it. So here's a few tips. Remind your staff that they're getting paid to do a job. Standing at a drive-thru window does not require a great deal of brain activity, but actually listening to what the customer is saying is essential. Once they've mastered that they can go on to advanced studies such as realising that when someone asks for sugar they might also need a little plastic stirrer and that a napkin would be nice. Just for once I want to go through the drive-thru and come out with the correct order. I certainly don't want to repeat tonight's experience of ordering a small cheeseburger and a coffee, only to be presented with a large cheeseburger and a tea (with no milk). Yours etc. Evil Edna Sixly
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